Express Yourself--Me and My Quirks

List 5 imperfections about yourself that might bug others but makes you, well you.


1  I worry too much.  I worry I have offended people when they haven't even noticed what I may have done.  I worry when the kids go someplace. I worry when the kids dont have anywhere to go.  I worry  when the grades arent good enough. I worry when the grades are good that maybe we are pushing them too much. And so on and so on.  Part of this is born of being a police dispatcher.  Sadly we spend our days dealing with the worst possible things that can happen to people, way our of proportion to the occurance of such things in the real world.  It skewers our perceptions big time. 

2  I am a cryer.  My husband, like most men is driven crazy by this but he has learned to walk away.  He has learned its not a deliberate effect, its how I react to bad news, sad movies, excess criticisms,  happy endings and sudden disappointments.  The sudden burst of emotion can put  other people off though (I apologize to each and every one of you.)I feel things deeply.  Can't help it. Can't help the tears either. But  the same depth of emotion does help me try harder not to hurt people and to  appreciate all these little moments in time.

3  I procrastinate.  I put things off. I want things to be so perfect they never get done.  I don't get cards sent because I want to add notes or pictures of the kids.  I put off bills till the week they are due and then wind up with several bills due the same day. I don't get pictures printed because I don't have the money to print the hundreds that I want and overlook the fact I could be printing 10 a week. I put off cleaning because I dont know where to begin. I put off work projects till the last possible date because I'm not happy with them. (I did this in school too.) I write first drafts, but never do the work to go back and make final draft manuscripts. Lately I have been trying some to improve this, but its very much a work in progress.

4  I save things.  I save newspapers to cut something out but don't.   I have shoeboxes full of photos. I save every book I read instead of moving them on. I know what books are where and how to find the info, but no one else ever would.   Latelly I have been trying to work on this.  I disposed of some not salvagable, falling apart and I have a dupliicate copy anyway books.  I have thrown out stuck together and blurry photos.  Also disposed of a lot of never will be that small and hope to never again be that big again clothing.  Sometimes it feels like I  am disposing of a loved one, and yet I know this is the easy part. The real hardship will come when I start narrowing down the more treasured objects, but I am working on it.

5 I'm too loud.  When I was in college majoring in theatre one thing I got high marks for was projection. No one ever had trouble hearing me in the back of the theatre.  I wasnt a very good actress but you could hear me not being good all the way across campus.  I get louder when I get excited.I yell too.  In my family everyone yelled.  Again its something I work on but progress is slow.

So there you are. 5 flaws, very much part of my being, yet things that definitely need some addressing in the near future.  I will try to not procrastinate. Much.

This is part of  Express Yourself Weekly Meme. Click on the link to find out more.

Thankful for the words of others

One of the greatest ideas the Victorians ever had was the Commonplace Book, a book or album where one saved photos, poems and other items of interest that one saw in the papers and magazines of the day. Its a practice I have followed much of my life and have a number of notebooks and folders full of quotes and clippings. A few years ago I aquired an exceptionally fat blank book and decided to fill it with some of my most favorite quotes so I could keep them handy.
I can't tell you how important this Commonplace Book has become for me. Inspiration, consolation and entertainment lies between its covers. Today I wish to share a few of my favorites.

"Furthermore we have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us. The labrynth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path and where we thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god. And where we thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we thought to travel outward we shall come to the center of our own existence. And where we thought to be alone we shall be with all the world."
Joseph Campbell--The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

"In a democratic society, the highest duty of the writer, the composer, the artist, is to remain true to himself and let the chips
fall where they may. In serving his vision
of the truth, the artist best serves his nation." John F Kennedy

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intellegent are full of doubt." Bertrand Russell.

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood but of respect and joy in each others' lives. Rarely do the members of one family grow up under the same roof. Richard Bach in Illusions:the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

"There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live." John Adams

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave 5 minutes longer" Ralph Waldo Emerson


"You've got to thank God, or whatever is up there is that we survived it all. We survived Vietnam, we survived Watergate, the tremendous upheaval of the 60's. We were the hip ones in the 60's but this is not the 60's; and we're going into an unknown future, but we're still alive, we're still all here, and while there's life there's hope." John Lennon December 1980.

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy." Joseph Campbell.

These are just a few of the many quotes I have saved and use as inspiration and guides. I grateful to all these people for sharing their thoughts with us.

Do you have a favorite quote? Please share it.

Thankvember Week 3

Its been a heck of a week around here, as those who read Thursday's post on Family Vacation Disasters already know. So I have been hard pressed to think of things I am grateful for, let alone blog about said gratitude. I was basicly completely off my writing game, as we scrambled to rearrange Thanksgiving. I was also hugely depressed both for myself and for so many others whose holiday was completely upended.

So what's done is done and we are home for the holidays. There are of course things to be grateful for. The people who were traveling all arrived safely at their destinations. We managed to have a perfectly nice Thanksgiving,albeit a much smaller turkey and smaller group around the table. The afternoon football games were quite exciting.

It's Saturday as I write this,and I have swapped all the summer drapes for winter ones, dusted all the knicknacks and picture frames in the living room and after all this productivity I never have time for, I am settled in for a full afternoon and evening of Ohio State/Michigan and Notre Dame/USC. And my daughter and I are going to bake and decorate Christmas cookies together. Its something we never get to do because she does them with her aunt this weekend and brings them home. So I am grateful for the special extra time together too.

Overwhelmed

Too much going on
Round and round and round
Overload of sights
Cacophony of sounds.

Busy,busy days.
Overwhelming needs.
Pulled 20 differant ways
Overwhelming me.

But if I'm to stay true
Till hard times are gone,
What else can I do
But keep hanging on?

My Biggest Vacation Disasters

I have to say I don't personally have any excessively disasterous vacation stories. I have never gotten deathly ill on a cruise ship or had all my luggage shipped to Dubai.  The biggest problems these days on our family vacations has been excessive rain on our vacations.

Our Family spends two weeks every summer recreating the Middle Ages at the Society For Creative Anachronism's Pennsic Wars.  This past summer we also recreated the Johnstown Floods. Every year produces one or two storms, but this year produced spectacular deluges from beginning to end, and enough confinement to tents to spark some snarky creativity.

There is however one problem I have had over the years when I was on vacation.  Namely, especially during the early years of our marriage, people kept dying or getting sick while I was on vcaction.  Not people who were with us, but rather people we knew.  It didnt have to be a travel vacation either, it could just be week off from work. 

Like most people we have had the occasional trip that had to be altered or cancelled due to sick kids.  But our various vacation complications go way beyond that.

Back in the days when cell phones were a luxury and coverage outside the cities non existent, I went camping in the boonies for a week with a bunch of friends.  Unfortunately my aunt died while I was gone, and as there was no way to reach me I missed the funeral, although I got back in time to see some out of town relatives before they went back.

Another time I had a lovely little week long staycation scheduled in early November--My husband's grandfather died 2  days before it was supposed to begin. At least we were able to stay longer since I didnt have to worry about getting back to work.

It wasn't just me either.  My husband was on a trip to friends once when his stepgrandfather died.


In 1993 my husband and I had a trip planned to Maine. We were flying to Boston, meeting our friends, and then driving to their vacation cabin.  Being young marrieds with a limited budget we had of course bought the cheapest possible no refund tickets.  We were set to leave on Thursday.  The Friday before my father died. Ironically enough he was also on vacation, visiting my sister in another state.  With the difficulties of bringing him back home we weren't able to have the funeral until the morning of the day we were set to leave.  At the insistence of my mom and other family members, we attended the funeral and then took our plane to Boston.  The visit with our friends went fine, it was actually a great comfort to be with them. On the return trip however, we had a few problems.  First our plane sat on the tarmac for several hours.  It turned out that President Clinton had been making a speech in Boston and Air Force One was due to leave Logan about the same time we were.  Even in those pre--9/11 days of innocence no one took off from an airport within an hour of the President's departure, hence the delay. Unfortunately by the time Air Force One had taken off there were storms around Pittburgh, which is where we were to change planes.  By the time that was cleared up we missed our conncecting flight.  Fortunately the airline got us a motel room for the night, since the cause of our lateness was the President.  So we had an extra night's vacation, albeit at the Pittsburgh Airport Holiday Inn, courtesy of President Clinton.

As you might imagine all this had made me a little paranoid about the whole vacation thing,  But for a long time now, more than 10 years, we had no problems on our vacations, other than a little inclement weather.  And to be honest, the vacations have all gone fine, its been the homefront that we had to worry about. 

That is it all went fine until this week. 

My husband's family has always been more into Thanksgiving than Christmas.  That is when their big family get together always has taken place, which has worked well for us since Christmas has always been the bigger deal in my family.  In recent years they have seated 30 for dinner.  Unfortunately they have always done it without me, because I had to work Thanksgiving and the day after.  My days off never landed on Thanksgiving and coworkers with more seniority always took the time off.  Until this year, when my schedule gave me Thanksgiving and the day after.  Moreover I was able to secure the time off around Thursday and Friday to allow for the travel time to go along. 

Everything has been set since last December, when I secured the time off.  Until this Monday when we learned that the illness of a family member at our destination would require the cancellling of the entire get together. The vacation curse strikes again.  

So much of the last two days were spent running around making sure we have all the things we need for Thanksgiving at home.  Also in figuring out what to do with two bored and disappointed kids who are off school till Monday and anticipated spending the weekend baking Christmas cookies and making Christmas candy and just hanging out with cousins and other family members. 

So our vacation has turned into a staycation. I like to think there is a working of the universe to these things, like maybe something bad would have happened to someone who was journeying to the big event if it had taken place.   We can't ever know of course, but I like to think that it works that way.

So we will have our dinner, watch the Macy's parade and the WKRP turkey drop and the football games, and at  be gratified to all be together today.  And try again next year. With a little bit of good  luck we might pull it off.

This post is part of Theme Thursdays, a group of bloggers writing on the same subject.  For more information or to see other posts, please click the button below.

I Love My Nook Thankvember 18

I am actually something of a traditionalist in many ways. I don't like the designated hitter rule, I prefer to see movies in a theatre, I like the sound of a needle on vinyl. I especially like books. Hard bounds, paperback, I love my books. I appreciate the physical qualities of books. The leather bounds, the first editions, the dust jackets. The messages on the the front cover signifying whom it was a gift from and when.Many times I purchased a book originally in paperback, and later came across a hardbound edition and acquired that as well. And as I almost always reread my books (many of them repeatedly) I seldom get rid of them That is part of the problem.  Any one who has seen my house can attest to the fact that I love books nearly to excess. And then there are my husband's books, and the kid's books and on and on.  I have slowly been trying to winnow things down lately (remember all those paperbacks I also own in hardback?) But I  am a junkie for my local libraries resale store: Hardbacks 1.00, paperbacks .50. (Borrow from the library? Maybe in a pinch, but the problem is the book doesn't belong to me. I cant highlight or write in the margins.)

All of this is to explain why I wasn't initially interested in an e-reader. You lose that physical connection I said to myself.  Its just not the same thing.  Since I seldom buy books new, I wouldn't be able to afford books for the device.  Then a friend who had upgraded to another device offered me her Nook first edition.  As it happened I had to make an emergency bus trip out of town to attend a funeral, and the Nook was the perfect companion.  As I shopped for free and low priced books I made the great discovery...all the out of print books that I paid small fortunes for online are available for free. Sure they are scanned.  Sure the transcriptions aren't perfect.  But I quickly acquired a collection of books that I had either searched endlessly for and never found, or never purchased due to cost.

The effect on my ravenously book loving 13yr old was even greater.  A devoted Twi-hard, soon discovered that one could type "Vampires-teen--free" and come up with all kinds of books that were in fact free, often posted by new authors trying to get their work noticed, but still quite entertaining. Many others were available for nominal amounts in the .99 or 1.99 range. Since she can easily zoom through several books on a non school day, the nook has kept her in new literature without breaking the bank. The only problem was she kept hijacking my Nook to read her stories.  So I bought her one as well.

Recently I made the decision to upgrade to a Nook pad.  My computer has been on the fritz, and for awhile I was doing the blog either at the library computer or from the email program on my cell phone. Neither are conducive to creativity.  The Nook Color would accomplish several goals at once, allowing me better Internet access, a writing program, and a replacement for the by now dysfunctional original Nook.  It arrived several months ago, and has opened a whole new world.  The very idea of being able to carry a functional computer and a 1000 books in a device that will fit in my purse seems like a miracle.  I usually travel with a carry on bag of 1/2 a dozen books or so, cause just never knows what one will be in the mood for. Now I carry a single paperback, or a magazine in case the batteries run down, and my portable digital library.  Travelling to Saint Louis earlier this month, I lucked into one of the new Greyhounds that have wireless and outlets at every seat. I had a full battery, Pandora radio, Internet and reading material the whole way.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my books. I will never give them up completely.  But for affordability and portability, e readers are an amazing tool.  I am so grateful one landed in my life.

Thankvember 17

Some serious Internet issues and time conflicts caused me to lose a few days.There's nothing like a day offline to remind you how much you appreciate all that you can do online. So to catch up just a little:

14--I am grateful for the Internet. I appreciate the convenience of having so much of the world at my doorstep, of being able to securely shop and browse and so forth.  From planning trips to my son's college applications it has been totally wonderful.

15-I am even grateful for Facebook, for all I complain about it, for it has brought so many people back into my life (in fact they are the ones I usually complain about Facebook to) It makes keeping in touch with family members so much simpler.

16--I am grateful for my blog. All the things I used to scribble down on paper and shove in a shoebox now goes here instead. I don't have to impose on anyone or please anyone and yet its here for the taking if you want it.  Plus its a permanent record of me and what I thought and said at any given time. A legacy if you will.

17--I am grateful for digital photography. I was never able to take pictures the way you are supposed to, lots and lots of shots and then toss what you don't want, because I could never afford film or film processing on that level. In fact there are still a few rolls of undeveloped film floating around my house. The digital camera has been hugely liberating for me, as I can take shot after shot, delete what doesn't work, and then put it on the computer and make it look exactly how I want it to.  The only part where I come up short is getting it off the camera/computer and onto paper for display.  But I'm working on it.

ThemeThursday--Teach Your Children

This week's Theme Thursday question was: if you could impress one lesson, ideal, or moral on your children, what would it be?


I sat thinking about this a long time. The problem is not of course that I couldn't think of anything, it rather was that there were too many things. Be kind, don't discriminate, take care of other who have less, be enviormentally minded...on and on. And then I realized these were all little pieces of the lesson I really want to impart.

Dear Children,

There's a whole beautiful world out there and you are a part of it. Remember that everyone else is a part of the same world. Take care of each other.

The things you do are small ripples in a big pond that affects everyone else eventually. There will always be people with less of the neccessities of life than you. Help them where you can. There will always be people with more problems than you. Listen to them. Help if you are able.

No one is able to do anything on their own Don't forget the village that raised you. Never deny anyone access to the ladder you climbed.

The title of this piece is taken from one of you mom's favorite songs. It reminds both parents and children that no matter how hard and confusing things may get to "know they love you." Keep that in mind always.

Be the best you that you can be, and the rest will follow. I can't wait to watch you make your way in the world.

Love,
Mom



This post is part of Theme Thursday.
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Thankvember 13

Having been thankful yesterday for a day off, today I am thankful for a job. Taking 911 (and other) calls is a high stress and underpaid job, and certainly not what I set out to spend my life doing. But it provides a living wage, excellent job security, and decent benefit, particlarly the health insurance. I am well aware what difficulties there are for those who can't get or afford such insurance, and regard it as a major reason to stay put where I am. I could find a job that pays better, but it would mean sacrificing benefits and seniority. Also one is less willing to take such risk when there are kids in the house. I also know how many people are unemployed or underemployed and must deal with the ensuing problems, coupled with the contempt of unsympathic fellow citizens.

And I am grateful for the occasional chances to be truly useful between the hang up 911 calls and barking dog complaints, to talk people through crisis or get them the help they need.


So today I am grateful for this job.

Thankvember 12

Today I am thankful for a day off. Since the dispatch center has to be covered 24/7 we work a rotating schedule, 1 weekend on, 1 weekend off. Since this was my weekend to work, I have Monday off. Even though I was still up at 4:00 for the ritual coffee before getting kids up to go to school, I still don't have to go to work. In fact, just getting to see them off to school is a bit of a gift, usually I leave before they are up and their dad gets to see them off. Today is a rare day of no real plans, other than doing paperwork for the Boy's college applications. I hope to get caught up on some things, like finally putting away all the packing from Saint Louis. So I am grateful indeed for a day off.

The Lone Mother hits the Road

     This past weekend I journeyed by Greyhound to Saint Louis for my cousin's wedding.  I had never been west of the Mississippi, or even west of Michigan, so it  was a big event.  I could have gone down with other family members, but I wanted to go ahead early and see something of Saint Louis as I had never been there.So after completing Halloween festivities with my family on the 31st,  I boarded the bus on Thursday to journey to Missouri.  The trip went remarkably well, except for the baggage guy handing my suitcase to someone else when we arrived in Saint Louis.  Fortunately the very nice gentleman realized the mistake upon opening it in the station and realizing  he needed neither the Diet Coke, nor the black ballet flats, and my property was restored.  Meanwhile I had already seen my first sight of the Mississippi.

Sightseeing in Saint Louis was made infinitely easier by a well laid out transit system and very helpful employees who gave excellent directions for getting around to various places.  7.50 got me an all day pass on the transit system, both trains and buses. 

First item on my agenda, on the suggestion of several family members, was to go see the Basilica  Cathedral of Saint Louis, which is decorated with one of the world's largest collections of mosaics.  It is a truly amazing sight, and I learned a lot about how mosaics are created as well.

My next mission, at the behest of my son, was to visit Busch Stadium, take some pictures and bring him back  a Cardinals t-shirt. Busch Stadium is one of the new, yet old looking, red brick stadiums. There are statues of a number of Cards players in front of the stadium, but on the other side, Stan Musial stands alone.

 Every time I spoke to anyone in Saint Louis about the trip their first question was "Have you been to the arch yet?" The arch dominates the skyline, even when it isn't the arch that you are visiting.
 So of course it was something I had to go see.

My first view when I got off the subway train was this:

 The Arch really is amazing, up close or at a distance.  It commands a beautiful view of the river, though being November I had hoped for a little more autumn color than I saw, though there was some.

And then, there it was between me and the late afternoon sun.  It really is an imposing sight. Most monuments commemorate a person or event. But the Arch really salutes the courage and initiative of those who explored and settled the West. In the museum at the Arch the emphasis mostly on the various groups that did this, which seems appropriate.

Afterward I went back to beautiful hotel at which rooms had been booked for all the out of town guests.  I started to relax for a nice quiet evening.  It was so nice and quiet that it became disquieting after a while.  First of all as much as I appreciated the me time, I missed travelling with the kids. I really enjoy having them along, especially in a new place.  But it was an adults only reception, and also they would have missed school to go, so I had come alone.  And I found myself wishing I hadn't had to. 

Secondly as I relaxed in the lovely hotel with the coffee machine and my own TV remote and the electric lights and all, I couldn't help feeling a little guilty about the various family members and friends who were stuck in the middle of the Hurricane Sandy aftermath, who were doing without coffee pots and electricity and darn near everything else.  It didn't help that the only thing decent to watch on the TV was the fundraising concert for the hurricane victims. Eventually I settled into a "Chill out you deserve this" sort of calm and went to bed. 

The next morning it was gloomy outside, but cheery inside the church and the reception hall...as we all got dressed up to go to the wedding.The bride and groom, as it happens are huge Halloween fans and actually encouraged everyone to come in black if they wished.  There were all the usual pre wedding complications but in the end all went well for my cousin, a beautiful bride if ever there was one, and her groom.

And a splendid time was had by all.

Thankvember 11--(11th day, 11th hour)

Some days its hard to think about what to write about. Today is not. Today is Veterans Day. It used to be call Armistice Day,because it was at was on November 11, 1918 at 11am that the Armistice ending World War I went into effect. (They didn't call it that of course. It was The Great War, or the war to end all wars. We know how that went.) In many countries that participated in The Great War it is customary to observe a moment of silence at this time.

In my family a number of people have served in the military. 2 of my uncles served in WWII, one in the Tank Corps in Africa and the other in the Air Service in California. My dad served in the Army in Germany in the 50's, in the early years of the Cold War. Several of my cousins served during the Vietnam War. More recently I have a cousin who has been in and out of both Iraq and Afghanistan a number of times. I am grateful for the service of each and every one of them. I am especially grateful that those of the prior generations were all able to do their time and return home safely again.

I am grateful for all the others who have served our country through the years as well. Because my teenage son has a great interest in military history I have watched a lot of documentaries over the years the various History and Discovery channels. I am always astounded by the bravery of so many of my fellow Americans. And I never cease to be moved by the stories of all those who never made it back home from the service of their country.

One of my son's heroes is the late Indians pitcher Bob Feller. Among his many sports accomplishment there is also the fact that he was one of the first ballplayers to enlist in the Army immediately after Pearl Harbor; despite the fact that he was the sole support of his family and therefore exempt from service. My son likes to quote, especially on Veteran's Day, something Mr Feller used to say:

"I'm no hero. Heroes don't come back. Survivors return home. Heroes never come home. If anyone thinks I'm a hero, I'm not." I happen to disagree.It may feel that way when one is on the inside, but this isn't how it looks to one of those on whose behalf they are serving. All these people go off to war not knowing whether or not they will come home. They take that chance for sake of their country. That is the sacrifice that matters. As far as I'm concerned, war time or peace time, everyone who serves is a hero.

Today is their day. And I am grateful to every one of them.

Thankvember 10

Today as I get ready to stumble off to another day's work, I am infinitely grateful for my automatic timer Mr Coffee coffeemaker.  I have to be at work at 7am, and catch a bus at 5:45  each morning to get there, which means the process of hitting the snooze button starts around 4.  If I had to add something as complicated as pouring water and counting scoops of coffee to my morning routine there are a lot of mornings that I would just give up and go back to bed, which would be very bad for my pocketbook.  But instead my lovely coffeepot turns on every morning at 3:45, and the coffee pot starts beeping done at the same time that my alarm clock sounds.  There is nothing like the smell of fresh coffee to motivate a person to get out of bed (except maybe the smell of frying bacon) .  Its an easy thing to take for granted, but I was reminded of what a beautiful thing it indeed was when I forgot to reset the clock for the ending of daylight savings time.  I woke on Monday to coffee that had already been sitting for more than an hour, and no longer tasted very good at all.  The problem was quickly rectified, but it was another reminder that we are lucky enough to have (at least most of the time) alot of simple technological conveniences that make living easier. 

Decimating My Grammar

Continuing to catch up on things, last week's poetry prompt was to play with words, specifically if possible in the form of an acrostic.  I decided to write about my verbal pet peeve.

Decimate is not the same as devestate or obliterate or wiped out.
Easy mistake to make, but
Commentators on the news should know better.
It comes from Latin "Decimus"
Meaning to lose or harm 1 in 10 persons.
     (Romans used to draw straws and punish 1 in 10 captives or solidiers)
And although I do not mind when the general public does it
The media says things and places are decimated all the time
Exciting and annoying me unneccesarily.

Thankvember 7-9

I know, I know, behind again and playing catch up once more.

For Wednesday--I am grateful there are no election ads today. For those of you who don't already know, I live in Ohio where our political advertising cup has runneth over more than most. Bring on the Christmas advertising! It may be overly perky and greedy, but at least it isn't usually mean spirited, let alone hateful.

For Thursday--I am grateful for our school systems phone notification system that advises promptly us of school closings, special events, and dress down days, even though it calls me all the time to tell me that my kid missed study hall when she is an office helper every day.

For Friday, I am grateful to the kind friend who left me the use of her net book today, allowing me to do some catchup on things, and not having to try to post through the email app on my basic as it gets cell phone. But don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have the cell phone too...Sometimes it's the littlest of kindnesses that absolutely makes things work.

Thankvember 6

Today I am incredibly grateful to live in a democracy, and to be able to freely vote as I wish. I am grateful for the free interchange of ideas in our society, even when I don't agree with you. I am extremely grateful for the 18th century miracle, our constitution, which makes our society possible.

Thankvember 4&5

I am not doing very well at keeping up with this so far, but I have been doing a lot of travel lately, so we shall strive to improve.

For yesterday, I am grateful for safe travel back from Saint Louis for all the family who had travelled to the wedding. For today I am grateful that at least some of my friends and family in the Sandy affected areas have their power back, and hope the rest will be on soon.

Thankvember Days 2 & 3

For yesterday I am grateful for safe travel from Ohio to St Louis (thanks Greyhound) and for the excellent public transit that made it easy for a nondriver from out of state to sightsee. For today I am grateful to be here with so much family and to get to celebrate my cousin Abbey's wedding.

Things I wish I knew before I became a Parent

The sad thing is, I should have known nearly all these things. Wasn't I a kid? A sibling? Did I not have parents? Somehow we have to learn it all over again.

Your children will always be totally different, even If they are the same sex. My children (one of each) like different books, TV shows, food, school subjects, and so on. One dances, one plays baseball. Its no doubt a conspiracy to keep us from being bored.

They will fight. No matter what you do. They will fight over the stupidest stuff. They fight over who has the remote on a show they are both watching. They will however defend their sib to the death against anyone else.

While we are on that....sibling rivalry is. My kids compete over whose picture hangs above the other in the living room. The eldest says the younger may receive no privilege or gift at a younger age than his. Last year both got 4.0 one grading period. They argued over whose was better, the one who had all As or the one with a B but getting extra credit for AP classes. Recently I advised a friend to give her daughter another middle name, to match her brother. You will hear about it forever if you don't I warned her.

They don't break as easily as you think they will. I am speaking both emotionally and physically. They fall, tumble and collide and come up smiling. They take emotional blows that would lay us up for weeks and march right back again.

They are great company. I thought as a kid my parents took us to things because it was their duty. Not till I had kids of my own did I learn how much pleasure it was to visit a favorite place with them, or watch a favorite film through their eyes.Right now I am travelling alone and while I am enjoying the quiet, I keep thinking I should be sharing this with them.

When you bring that newborn home, never mind what the doctor said about breast vs bottle or schedules; if they are screaming and the diaper is dry they are hungry feed them. If they refuse  the breast and are still screaming they are hungry and frustrated. Feed them.

They will when you least expect it surprise you with their courage, their compassion, and their maturity.


It really does hurt you more than it does them.

You will worry. Always.

Thankvember 1

I am participating this month in the thankvemberblog challenge. Each day as part of our blog or in a seperate entry we are to post something we are thankful for. I often have trouble with this sort of thing, which is why I took this challenge, but not today.

Like most people, I had family and friends who were in direct line of Superstorm Sandy who are only now begining to deal with the fallout.My brother and his family in Pennsylvania escaped with a few downed trees and power that will be out till at least Sunday. One my dearest friends and her family, on the other hand are in New Jersey where the worst of the storm hit. They too are cealing with power outages,water shortages and cabin fever. The prospects for service restoration for them any time soon is even less likely than in PA. Even here in Ohio there was much storm damage and random service outages. But everyone amongst my loved one survived. The devestation has been incredible.

So with all that in mind, let me first say I am grateful for the wellbeing of those I care for. I am glad you all are safe. And secondly I am grateful for all the small often forgotten things you all are struggling with at present: running water and heat and televisionand electricity.

I hope you lives are more normal soon. And I will be grateful for that too.