Sacrificial Lamb

Here is one of my favorite Easter traditions: My mother's Lamb Cakes.  She has been baking them all my life,  always in the same cast iron mold.    Good luck finding the cast iron molds anymore, they are almost always cast aluminum, and they stick.

The lamb is a pound cake with white frosting, covered with coconut. Helpful Hint: put toothpicks in the ears when you pour the cake in the mold, then they will pop out from the mold. 

If you get first pick off the cake, go for either the head or the hind end, they have the most frosting.  Watch out for the toothpicks though.

The one is these photos will be sacrificed shortly after Easter Dinner today.

Enjoy your Easter everyone!!!

To Peggy, with love from Meg

This week's Theme Thursday asks us to write a letter to our 16 year old selves.

My 16th birthday,  It was the week before the Bicenteniel,
hence the red/white/blue cake, Those are little Spirit
of 76 guys marching across the cake.

Dear Peggy,

When I tried to sit and remember the 16 year old me, that was the first thing I remembered. You were Peggy back then.  You will decide to change to Meg in college, partly to stand out in a college theatre department, partly from affection for both Little Women and A Man for All Seasons. Neither of us ever thought much of Margaret as a name.

I am looking back at you through the glass of 36 years, so there's a lot of water under the bridge.  In fact I just got the mailer for the 35 year class reunion in the mail, so I have been thinking about the me that you were.

You're  sweet 16 and never been kissed.  You've had one crush, on an older guy, but he has a religious vacation, and besides he's already gone off to college.  You will stay friends though.  You will find that true love someday, but it will take awhile, practically forever from the point of view of a 16 year old, but it will come.

Unlike many 16 year olds, you don't have to be told "It gets better." for you already know.  High school has been a far happier experience that a grade school where you were often bullied, in an era where bullying was "just something kids do."  Your teachers seem to like you, your grades are decent if not fabulous.  You have friends. 

What can I tell you about your future?  You like high school, you'll love college.  You wont get to go to the college you want, too expensive, but things tend to work themselves out.  The local state university will lead you to a new avocation in the theatre, friends you will hold for the rest of your life, a new spirituality, and the man you will marry, and eventually have children with.  (Coming up on 25 years now, so far, so good). You will also get a summer job working in the city parks, which will eventually lead into Civil Service and a job you never imagined in high school or even college. 

Here's the biggest thing I want to tell you Peggy,  You are on the right path. You have learned tolerance at an early age.  No one really ever told you this, the idea of discriminating against anyone just never made sense to you.  There will be huge tidal shifts in the next 36 years, but you will be able to roll with them.  You have aquired patience.  You have learned what is worth panicking over and what isn't.  You're mantra is already, "We'll work it out somehow," You have no idea how often it will come in handy.

If I could spare you anything it would the years I spent questing after self esteem, thinking that others were somehow better or more deserving.  But maybe I wouldn't spare you it. That sense of empathy and compassionyou are developing will serve you well too. 

You will survive, endure, do well even.  Keep enjoying the ride.

Love
Meg





This post is a part of Theme Thursday. To see other bloggers' letters to their sixteen-year-old selves, or to add a link to your own post, click the button below

The Girl is Growing Up

Recently the Girl and her aunt (the one who has all boys) went shopping for a new dress.  It took 6 hrs, 21 malls, 5 stores and about 60 dresses to find the one that was pronounced "just right" .  Part of the problem is that the Girl is at the awkward size, too grown up for the children's department, not quite mature enough for Juniors. But it was also that she is now far more particular than she once was about the clothes she puts on her body.  And this is just one of several signs of a growning maturity that we have observed lately,

Consider:

She is totally opposed to the color pink.  This from a child who lived for pink the first 10 years of her life. 

She recently decided that she was too old for Pocahontas bed sheets and mismatched throw blankets, and spent a chunk of her Christmas money on a "bed in a bag" set. Sheets, comforter, pillow cases, sham and bed skirt, all in lavender, with a nice reversable floral pattern.  After she got the bed arranged she banished virtually all of her stuffed animals and dolls to storage.  She also requested the removal of the fairy princess castle head board that is mounted to the wall.  In short, the room no longer loooks like a little girl's room, but that of a teenager.

She has taken down all the Twilight posters and replaced them with The Lord of the Rings, and some serious looking unicorns.  (This may not indicate maturity, but it is a clear sign of better taste,)

She is actually practicing her viola most nights, instead of trying to cram in a whole weeks worth on Sunday.

She sets her own alarm clock and gets up on her own most mornings.

She is spending seemingly endless hours debating which of several high school programs she should apply for. (She will be a real treat in a couple years when the college catalogs start showing up.)

That doesn;t mean she doesn;t have her little girl moments still.  She falls asleep most nights watching her Teen Titans, the complete series DVD's.  She is thoroughly conversant with all the offerings of Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. 

In short, she is on the brink. And its fascinating to watch the little clues to the woman she will be.

You tried how many dresses?

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Banned Books Challenge--The Lord of the Rings

Warning this post contains potential spoilers for The Lord of the Rings. You might not wish to read it if you have never seen the movies or read the books.

This should have been posted yesterday, for Read Tolkien Day (March 25th, the day the Ring is destroyed in the book) but I was too busy reading Tolkien.

Where do I begin on Read Tolkien Day?

The Lord of the Rings has been challenged for a variety of reasons over the years, from the silly (the books feature smoking by many characters)to the more serious (that the book is anti christian or anti religion.)

In 2001 the books were burned in New Mexico by a group who claimed they promoted Witchcraft and Satanism.

When one looks at the author and the story behind the writing of The Lord of the Rings, such claims of Satanism seem bizarre and incredibly ironic as well.


J R R Tolkien was born in 1892 in South Africa, where his father died when he was young. His mother then moved her children back to England where she was from. His family was Catholic, and after his mother's death when he was 12, his guardian was a priest. Tolkien started college at Oxford, but before he could get his degree World War I began, and he went to War. He also married during this time period. He and his wife would have 4 children, one of whom, Christopher had devoted much of his adult life to editing his father's works. The depth his feeling for his wife can be seen in the fact he had their tombstone engraved with the names "Beren and Luthien" the tragical eternal lovers of the Silmarillion. After the war he went back and finished his degree, and later became a professor of Anglo Saxon at Oxford. Tolkien was fascinated by languages and in his youth started making up his own. He became a philologist, someone who studies the history of words and their usages and meanings. He was a contributor to the Oxford English dictionary as well. As he studied Anglo Saxon and other early languages and read the epic stories written in those tongues he began to think of a fantasy world that would incorporate his languages. For over 20 years he worked at the languages and mythic structure of what would become the world of Middle Earth.

Tolkien also became friends with another Oxford professor, C S Lewis, like him a Catholic, although Lewis was a convert. The two often exchanged comments on the work the other was creating, so that in the the end, The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia are sibling works, although they differ greatly. Certainly the symbolism in The Lord of the Rings is rather more subtle than the overt allegory of Narnia, but there is no question that Tolkien viewed his work as Christian in its basic story and values. He certainly had no intention of promoting Satanism, and would be appalled to think anyone took his books that way.


For me this book is one of my desert island books, the works I would take with me should I have to be reduced to just a few volumes. I read it at least yearly if not more frequently.  It is one of the few books, along with Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, that everyone in my family has read and enjoyed. (If you get the feeling we like mythic heroism around this house, you would be correct.)  Several things make this work stand out for me:

The depth of the story.  At the time of Professor Tolkien's death many readers, although appreciating the richness of his story, had no idea of the depth of it.  The more than twenty books edited and published since then by his son Christopher show how complex and deep his work was.  Every character and event in the Lord of the Rings, for example, has a longer history written down elsewhere, with biography and genealogy.
This depth of narrative, this feeling that Lord of the Rings is but one chapter in a longer existing epic is one of its greatest appeals.

Mythic complexity. In the course of his studies Professor Tolkien encountered myths of many cultures.  He incorporated aspects of many of them in The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.  It adds to the feeling that one is in the middle of another epic saga such as the Norse would have told around a campfire.

You need a hero?  We got heroes.  One of the most interesting things about the books in the way Tolkien incorporates a number of different heroic types.  Aragorn is a classic Arthurian here, right down to being hidden away at birth, fostered by a wise figure who teaches him many secrets, and being known to others by the sword he wields.  Frodo is a sacrificial hero, Sam is an Everyman. Frequently the characters balance, so that we see the consequences of their actions. Boromir succumbs to the temptations of the Ring, his brother Faramir, placed in similar circumstances rejects it.  Theoden, a failed king, redeems himself in a last great act of kingship.  He is balanced by Denethor who fails in a similar test. 

Even the mightiest and most powerful are not safe from temptation or failure.  Elrond, Gandalf and Galadriel all reject chances to take the ring.  They know the greatest danger is to place such a powerful object in the hands of someone who knows how to wield power.  Saruman is not so wise, and in his pursuit of power falls under the influence of Sauron. 

Tolkien's experiences of combat also influence the story.  War is not a heroic endeavour so much as it is a grim necessity.  At the end balance has been restored, but not without great cost. If you have only seen the movie you may be surprised to learn there are six full chapters after the Ring is destroyed. Although much of it would have been a distraction in the movie, they are some of the best parts of the book, and reflect some of the authors deepest feelings about war and progress and the plight of returning heroes who have been wounded beyond healing.

As already mentioned, this is one of my favorite books. I can't recommend it highly enough.  I am a big fan of the filmed trilogy as well.  I think that, along with To Kill a Mockingbird it's one of the best adaptations of a book ever done.  They aren't always true to the narrative but they stay true to the spirit of the story.

It may be possible with a very surface reading (or more likely a reading of the dust jacket) that one might find the book irreligious.  A more careful reading shows the deeply spiritual quality of the book.  Although Tolkien wrote from a Catholic point of view, the appeal of the book goes far beyond Christianity.  We all need tales of heroism and sacrifice, and this book is one of the best ever written.

photo credit: Love Of Books by George Hodan

Express Yourself--Some Favorite Childhood Reads

Before I talk about books of my childhood, I want to mention a favorite book of my teen years. As it happens this post will appear on March 25th, a special day to fans of The Lord of the Rings, since according to Tolkien's laboriously detailed chronology this is the date the ring of power is destroyed.  It is often known as Ring Day or Tolkien Reading Day, and when I get done here I plan to go curl up with Frodo and Sam and Aragorn for awhile. 

The first book I remember having as a child, besides Little Golden Books,  was a 3 volume set called "A Family Treasury of Children's Stories." 

The books were subtly transitioned by age, progressing from Nursery Rhymes, through short stories, chapter books, poetry, mythology and biographies.  It was here I first read "The Velveteen Rabbit" Sherlock Holmes, and Winnie the Pooh.  I was introduced to poems from Rosemary and Stephen Vincent Benet's Book of Americans which is still a favorite.  And it was here, in several excerpts from Edith Hamilton and Thomas Bullfinch, that I discovered Greek and Norse mythology, sending me down several paths that are with me to this day.

As a child I read everything I could get my hands on. (The Girl is the same way today, but my parents didn't have the advantage of free Nook downloads).  I loved series books and read my way through the school libraries collections of Nancy Drew, The Bobbsey Twins, The Happy Hollisters, and other less well known.  I loved book fairs at school and still treasure a number of those paperbacks. A friend introduced me to the What Katy Did books. I also loved The Borrowers and The All of a Kind Family stories. The Wizard of Oz, Heidi and Swiss Family Robinson were on my shelf too.  Most of these books are ones I later acquired new copies of for my children.

The best thing my parents ever did for my reading habit was to never tell me I was too young for a book,  They figured I would get what I could out of them.  My dad was a big fan of Cornelius Ryan and Jim Bishop, so I plunged into The Longest Day, and The Day Lincoln Was Shot at what was a far too early age I am sure.  But books like that left me with an interest in history I have kept ever since.

But my two favorite writers when I was young were Rudyard Kipling and Louisa May Alcott.

An aunt gave me my first copy of The Jungle Books, which I proceeded to love literally to pieces.  I read Kim, The Just So Stories, and much of his poetry at an early age too.  There was something about his ability to tell an unbelievable story in a believable way that has stuck with me.  That and the rhythm of his poetry. 

The greatest book gift I received as a child though, came from a friend of my mother.  The lady had only boys, and wished to pass on some books for girls onto someone who would appreciate them more. Knowing my mom had three daughters the books wound up at our house.

 

This set of Louisa May Alcott books was one of the great treasures of my childhood.  Although I had already read  Little Women and still have a treasured copy of 8 Cousins that my grandmother bought in Concord and wrote the names of my (then) 8 cousins inside the cover, to be in possession of a set like this was riches indeed.  I read them all but especially the tales of the March and Campbell families. As much as I like the Little Women books, I think I like Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom even more.  Something of Louisa's spunky attitude and firm belief that women's career choices were valid no matter what they wound up doing stuck with me.  (We forget now that Ms Alcott was quite a feminist for her time period).I also learned a lot about catharsis from these books, cause no one could kill people off like Louisa May.  I have returned to these books again and again, as well as to many more of Ms Alcott's books (35 books in one volume for the Nook, 4.95) My daughter loves them as well, so her appeal is safe for at least one more generation.

These are some of the books I loved most as a child.  Being left to explore books with out judgement (at least from my parents) as to subject matter or maturity levels was a great gift, one I have tried to pass on to my own children.  I doubt they will pick the same favorite books some day, but at least I know they will have a list.


This Post is part of  Express Yourself Meme. To see what other bloggers are saying on this same topic please click on the link

But You are Old Mom

Last fall my son and I visited Gettysburg, PA.  The Boy was doing a college visit, and we were also taking the opportunity to spend long hours walking around on the battlefield and visiting many tourist sites.  Somewhere during our second day the Boy observed to me, "You get around pretty good for an old person." Like many things teenagers say, it was compliment and insult at the same time (Complimentary insult? Insulting compliment?) But the kids have been making fun of my age for a long time so I took it in stride.

First of all, I know I am kind of old, as mothers go.  I had the Boy at 35 and the Girl at 39.  My mom, by comparison, had her last child at 32.  My grandmother had 7 kids by her early 30's.  But I belonged to the finish college and get a degree generation, and in my case it took me 10 years just to get that bachelors degree, and then to get married. Even then we decided to be a couple for awhile first before having kids.  It was a wise choice for us, and I don't regret it, but it does mean that the only people my age at the PTA meetings are usually grandparents.  In fact my son informed me the other days that one of his friends grandmother was 5 years younger than me.

Additionally, as it happens, I am a few years younger than my husband. He always has had fun reminding me of this fact.  The first year we were married he gave me a card that read: "Its a great joy to wish your best friend a happy birthday.  But its sheer ecstasy to remind her that she is older than you,"  He has been playing the "four years younger" card ever since.  I like to tell him it just means I won't outlive him as long as the average woman does her spouse.

The kids of course delight in teasing me about all this.  Very seldom do we watch a show on the history or science channels that they don't ask for a firsthand report on the 6 wives of Henry VIII or causes of dinosaur extinction.  Of course, much of what I have seen, from moonwalks to the Vietnam War, is ancient history to them.

It's true having kids later does have some drawbacks.  I will be eligible for early retirement before my daughter finishes high school.  Its hard to plan for those years when I am still figuring out how much the Girl's senior year will set us back, (On the other hand, think how great the pension only income would look on her financial aid paperwork).  I will be well into my 60's before I am a grandmother. (I better be well into my 60's before I become a grandmother...hear me kids?) 

The benefits however outweigh the drawbacks.  We had our fun first, and then had kids when we were ready.  I'm a more mature, patient and knowledgeable parent than I would have been in my 20's.  No matter how tight things get sometime, we are far more secure than we would have been back when their dad and I worked 4 jobs between us that didn't add up to what 911 operating pays (and no health insurance either).  We are better parents for the waiting, and they, I think, are better kids because we did.

Crow on the Wire

"Crow on the Wire" by thehachmom

They sit there so proudly

So stoically

So elegant against the sky.

No wonder Poe was so inspired

By their slightly larger Brethren.

I have been told

That they are Sentinels.

I don't know for sure,

But I always say hello

When I hear them caw.



Funerals Need Not Be Funereal

I find it amusing this week's Theme Thursday topic involves funerals, because it is only a few days after St Patrick's Day and if there's one thing the Irish know its how to celebrate their deceased.  My mom's family has always taken a celebratory approach to funerals, with lots of pictures, lots of laughter, and a lot of joy in recalling the person who has gone.

We are also a family that likes to have their kids around at events, and that includes funerals.  We have always taken the approach that their presence provides much needed levity, and a reminder of the continuity of life.

When I was young my parents introduced us to funerals by taking us to ones involving family members we didn't really know, feeling that would be less upsetting to us.  With our own children we emphasised the social obligation of funerals, and that this was something we did not because someone had died, but because they had loved ones who would appreciate the presence of friends.

Taking kids to funerals can have its amusing aspects though.  When the Boy was three his great grandfather died.  We weren't sure how much he understood about what was going on, but providentially his pet lizard, Henry, had died a few weeks earlier, allowing him and his dad to have the what death means conversation as they buried him in the flower bed.
He behaved beautifully through the funeral and on the trip to the cemetery.  When we arrived out there he surveyed the grave site and then turned to us with that look of enlightenment that preschoolers get and announced for all to hear, "Now I get it. We're going to put Papa under the sidewalk like we did Henry." 

His sister's best funeral moment involved a friend of my parents.  The kids had only met him a few times, but he had always generously remembered them at birthdays and Christmases, and I felt they should go with me to the calling hours.  The Girl was sent to her room with instructions to dress nicely, and came down wearing a color known around our house as "Oh my God its Pink,"  She was then instructed to dress more respectably in a dress and nice shoes.  Complimented at the calling hours on how she looked she announced that she was wearing her "respectable" clothes,  leaving the impression that everything else she owned was more suitable for "Dress like your Bratz Doll Day."

But these early experiences have paid off in more recent years, as they have had to attend several funerals for closer family members, and for family members of their friends, and conducted themselves most appropriately.

Like most people, I have given some thought to the funeral I want someday.  I always thought Janis Joplin had a great idea leaving money in her will for people to have a party after she was gone. Please have a party.  Bring Bailey's and Irish Coffee.  I decided long ago I wished to be cremated, both because I abhor the expense of caskets and embalming, and also because I think when on is gone one should really be given back to the earth, rather than a cement coffin liner. Plus I'm an organ donor and I expect them to take anything they can use.  Therefore it shouldn't be difficult to have the memorial service outdoors, weather permitting (A big if  in Ohio). Skip the flowers, I have a long list of charities I would rather see the money go to.  Anyone who has seen my scrapbook collection knows there will be lots of pictures to look at.   Everyone can stand around and say some nice things about me. I hope they laugh a lot. Read some of what I wrote.  I  have a  play list planned of course, and although I haven't decided what I want to wear for the big journey, I want a Good Turn Coin in my pocket.  I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'm sure there will be work to be done.

A Sense of Entitlement

Recently a friend gave me a gift. With the gift came a note saying "This is for you, no one else. You deserve to have nice things too." It was a note only a mom would write to another mom, because we know the score: when you're a mom everyone else comes first, not because they insist but because we do. We do it to ourselves. We don't buy food the kids dislike, we watch the TV shows they like,we chose Hunger Games at the book store over that new book for adults we've been wanting to read.

This week in a cruel move, Hollywood is bringing out my two favorite movies of last year in the same week : The Hobbit and Les Miserables. If I don't have enough money for both come payday guess which one we will get? It wont be the one with Hugh Jackman, but the one with dwarves and wizards that everyone in the house will like.

Some of this adjusting of priorities is a normal part of maturing, becoming spouses and parents, in a word growing up. But as moms we tend to carry it too far. We are the last in our houses to get anything and we feel guilty if we do something that only benefits ourselves. 

Last month I bought a new winter coat. If you saw the hideous yellow jacket it replaced, which my kids mockingly referred to as the Big Bird coat,you would understand this was hardly a luxury purchase. I went to a local department store's winter clearance sale (held several months before winter actually clears out of Ohio) and found a nice coat on sale. So why do I feel obligated to explain to everyone that compliments it that I needed it desperately, that I practically got it for free, and so on? "You know," says another friend of mine, "you don't have to apologize for having nice things. You work hard, you deserve it."

"I deserve this." " I am entitled to this." Even "I need this."  These are hard things for most moms to say. We find fulfillment in sacrificing for our families and going without ourselves. We think of the long list of house repairs, child needs, splurges the whole family would enjoy, and so forth and we place ourselves at the bottom of the priority list.  But sometimes we find our families would prefer if we were a little selfish.  Before I bought the new coat I didn't realize how much the kids hated the old canary yellow $5.00 at the discount store Big Bird jacket, until they ceremoniously disposed of it, with one holding the trash bag open while the other threw it in. "It was so yellow mom" said my son shaking his head.

I was thinking about all this when I bought my Keurig coffeemaker last month.  We had a coffeepot already, so this was a luxury not a necessity. But I had wanted one for awhile. We set it up in the living room for now since there wasn't room in the kitchen, and I like to look over there and see it even when I'm not using it, a visible reminder that sometimes its enough that mom wants something, and there's no need to apologize or explain.

So moms, all together now: I DESERVE THIS!

Express Yourself--Good Turn Coins and Lucky Pens

The Express Yourself Meme for this week asks "Do you have a lucky charm or lucky ritual?" I have one lucky charm I carry, one ritual that I practice almost daily, though I don't know that I would say it is for luck, exactly.

Good turn coins are traditional among many involved in Scouting.  The idea is that you place it in your pocket in the morning and then, when you have done the daily good turn (or good deed) expected of Scouts, it is moved to another pocket.  Its a good way to remind oneself not only of the daily service obligation, but also that one is a Scout, and expected to conduct oneself in a certain way. 

I own several good turn coins, but this one is my favorite.  It was given to me by a fellow member of the Antelope Patrol after our Wood Badge Training.  Wood Badge is highly intensive adult leadership training that takes place over a week or several weekends.  The trainees are divided into patrols just like Boy Scouts, and complete a project that is presented to other scouters. Then  commit to 5 other projects that they on their own involved  themselves in over the next 18 months. Only then are they entitled to wear the sash, slide and beads of a Wood Badger.

So of my fellow antelopes gifted me with this coin,  It has the Wood Badge components listed on one side, and our patrol animal on the other.  I  also like it because it pentagonal, so i cant mistake it for a regular coin in my pocket and put it in the bus changer, like I did once with a St Christopher medal. 

I seldom leave the house with out this either in my pocket or in my purse. It is a reminder of the course, my patrol, the friend who gifted it, and my commitment as a Scouter

 

I have had one object that was lucky for a long time, although I no longer have it.  It was a fine point G2 pen, much like the one below.  And it does have a story.

 

A few years back, I was having a lot of computer problems, and a friend gifted me with a laptop she was no longer using.  In the laptop bag was a G2 pen.  At first I simply carried it as a reminder of my friend's kindness to me, but as I used it I discovered I really liked the pen.

As a writer I prefer paper to keyboard.  Most everything I post, including this, begins in a notebook.  But I my writing hand also cramps unless I have just the right pen.  This was just the right pen.

I began to use it for all my writing.  I carried it everywhere. When the ink ran out I bought a refill, then another.  It travelled to a Boy Scout Jamboree, and on a trip to New York to meet up with it original owner.  I realized at some point that I, who lose pens left and right, had carried this one for more than a year without losing it. 

I did finally lose it of course, at one of the Boy's baseball games his sophomore year.  The team was 0 for the season, so the needed the luck more than I perhaps. A ritual sacrifice to the baseball gods perhaps.

But G-2's are still my favorite pens.  I wrote the first draft of this with my newest lucky pen.  I brought it last October during breast cancer awareness month. It is pink.  Very Pink.  The Girl disdains pink these days, the Boy wouldn't dream of being seen with a pink pen.  Therefore neither has borrowed the pen, and it is still in my possession 5 months after I bought it.

And if that's not lucky I don't know what is.




This Post is part of  Express Yourself Meme. To
see what other bloggers are saying on this same topic please click on the link

Happy St Patrick's Day

Nothing heavy today. Just a few quotes and some songs and a celebration of being Irish (whether your ancestors came from Ireland, and you are only Irish for a day.) Because besides the drinking, being Irish is all about the words and the music,

It's no good being Irish if you don't know that the

world will break your heart eventually.

 Daniel Patrick Moynihan

 

 

 

 

The Wolfe Tones and theWearing of the Green

 

 

 

 

Being Irish he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.

William Butler Yeats

 

　For the great Gaels of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry,
And all their songs are sad.

G K Chesterton

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Alex Levine

 

 

 

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain falls soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

- Irish blessing

 

 

And finally if you are missing someone this St Patrick's Day

here's one more from the Clancy Brothers 

 

 

 

Happy St Patrick's Day

I Need to Go to Bloggy Conference

I have been writing this blog for about 10 months now. I have learned, and continue to learn a lot about blogging and about my self as a blogger.  I like to think there has a been a slow steady improvement in the quality of my posts, thanks to a lot of support and good advice from my amazing fellow bloggers.  I know blogging has really become a part of my life, because when things happen I ask myself if I can make a blog posting of it.

But I need something more. I need advice.  I need in person contact. I need to move out beyond this little niche I occupy and network more.  I need a blogger conference.

I had been thinking about attending a conference for awhile.  Friends who have gone recommend them highly.  I just needed to find one that was relatively inexpensive and close enough to home that I wouldn't need to get much time off from work.

Then I found out about Bloggy Conference. It looked perfect. A weekend in September that I already had off from work. An inexpensive registration fee. Up at Cedar Point, only a few hours from home, and a location serviced by Greyhound, so I didn't have to worry about how to get there.  Plenty of time to get resources together to attend.

Oh wait. Registrations are open now? It's limited to 125 attendees?  Now we have a problem.  Because I am the mom of a high school senior, and any extra money we have this spring is going for college visits and graduation expenses.  Long before I can plan on setting aside money for the conference the registrations will be filled. 

Then I learned about the Bloggy Pass Giveaway sponsored by Building BLOG Bridges. They are giving away a package including registration, lodging at Cedar Point and travel expenses. All I have to go to enter is write an essay about why I want to go to Bloggy Conference.

Well I don't just want to go to Bloggy Conference, I need to go to Bloggy Conference.  I need to interact with others, get expert advice, find out what others think of my work.  I need to reach higher.  I believe Bloggy Conference will help me do this.

The location is special to me also. My very first job out of high school was a summer at Cedar Point.  I paid for my first year of college from my earnings.  Cedar Point, in a sense, started me on my way.  Now Cedar Point could help me make another leap forward.

I have always been a writer.  For years everything just sat in notebooks and shoe boxes around the house. Then I found blogging, and through it what my writing always lacked: an audience.  Now I'm greedy.  I want to write better and I want to reach even more people.  Bloggy Conference will help me.

So please, send me to Bloggy Conference.  Because I would like to have everyone see this at the top of my sidebar:

This post is an entry into the Building Blog Bridges giveaway I have entered for a chance to win one Bloggy Conference 2013 ticket.

Theme Thursday--Some Thoughts on Guns

I know its one of the things you are sick of hearing about, isn't it? I understand. I am even sicker of it than you are, because as a 911 operator I hear about this stuff all the time. But this week's  Theme Thursday challenge is to write on a controversial subject, and this one has been on my mind for a long time.

We had another gun tragedy in our city recently. A four year old boy was riding in the back seat of his father's car when a gun went off. No one is quite sure if he found it and was playing with it, or if it accidentally discharged where it was laying in the car.  But either way, a four year old is dead.

Working in law enforcement in a mid-size American city, we see crimes involving guns on a daily basis. Heart rending tragedies like Newtown are rare (thank goodness) occurrences. What we see daily though are the homicides (often drug or domestic violence related), the robberies, the fights, the non lethal shootings. Not only do they wear away at the victims, they wear away at the first responders, and they wear away at all the people of the communities these crimes happen in.

Its a cliche to say of a controversial issue like gun violence that there are no easy answers. There really are no easy answers though. There are constitutional issues, and privacy issues, There are fiercely drawn lines here.

While I believe there are practical steps that can be taken to make our society safer (no one really needs huge clips in civilian life, everyone should have to have a proper background check done before purchase, and so on)  I don't believe we "take away guns" from people.  I don't think it could be done if anyone wanted to. But there is something that I think is being overlooked that should be considered.

A comment we often hear in relation to gun violence goes like this: "If people didn't have guns they would commit their crimes some other way. They would use a knife or a rope or their bare hands".  And that is true of the person who is bound and determined to commit a murder.  But there are two things to consider with consider with this argument.  One is that most killings are committed on the spur of the moment.  If the weapon is at hand, the killing doesn't take place.  The other is that these other methods require a lot more proximity to the victim.    You have to get up close, confront your victim, take a chance of being harmed yourself.  You cant have a drive by strangling. 

Recently in our town a woman was shot and injured while driving in her car.  Apparently she was shot on the spur of the moment by someone who objected to her flashing her lights at them to get out of the middle of the road.  Does anyone  think they would have been able to throw a knife into her car as effectively?

Consider cars and bikes for a moment.  We don't have the same rules for riding a bike as we do for a car, even though both are vehicles that share the road.  That's because the possibility of doing serious harm to anyone but yourself on a bike is relatively slim.  Cars on the other hand, can create tragedies in the wrong hands. So society sets certain rules for the safe usage of cars.  We have traffic lanes, speed limits, licensing of drivers.  Because we recognize that cars have unique dangers.

Its the same with guns.  The capacity for harm and the ease of use, make guns uniquely dangerous weapons.

I don't know what the answers are.  But I do know we have to recognize and understand all the dangers of guns before we can have the discussion.



This post is part of Theme Thursday, a group of bloggers writing weekly on the same topic.  To see what others have to say on this topic, or to link up yourself, please click on the button.

My Irish Grandmother

This is my grandmother, Marguerite Theresa Bridget Carroll Corrin. She was born on March 17, 1907 in Cleveland. Yes, St Patrick's Day. Yes, both of her parents had emigrated from Ireland.  No I don't know why such good Irish Catholics didn't give their daughter born on the 17th of March Patricia as her first or middle name. 

My grandmother had a good education for a girl of the time period, finishing high school. She took a commercial course of study, learning secretarial skills, and worked as a secretary in later years.

 

 

She married my grandfather, who was also half Irish, in 1931 and they produced 3 daughters worthy of a Chekhov play or a certain Woody Allen movie.

 

As long as she lived she was the one in charge. She went her own way and did what she wished. She got a speeding ticket at the age of 82. She was going up a steep hill at the time.  Usually most people that age get ticketed for going too slow, but she was never timid. 

 

She knew all about the gifts of the Blarney Stone. She could converse well, and any time you went anywhere in public with her she always ran into someone she knew.  She was often the secretary of her various women's clubs.  She wrote in a beautiful hand, and we often had her inscribe certificates and the like for us. 

She also wrote poetry, mostly light verse, but I envied her ability to think it up so quickly and completely.  I once saw her create a poem at a baby shower in half an  hour.

 

She also had the (good) luck of the Irish.  She never went to any event that she didn't come away with a door prize. She loved bingo and card tournaments. She taught her grandchildren to play killer Rummy and Euchre, and she gave no quarter, even to 3rd graders.

 

 

As long as I can remember, St Patrick's Day was a huge deal in our family. We celebrated being Irish and we celebrated my grandmother's birthday.  An especially big event was her 84th birthday, when we threw a surprise party.

Here she is with some great grandchildren
 Note the color scheme

Her very last St Patrick's Day was my son's first. Thank goodness we took a picture.

So this St Patrick's Day we will all get together to celebrate. And we'll have a toast (Bailey's of course)for Grandma on her birthday. Because having her in our lives made us some of the luckiest  Irish around.

Express Yourself--Game and Reality Shows

This week's Express Yourself topic asks "If you could be on a game show or reality show, what would you choose?"

For a game show the answer is easy: Jeopardy.  I have a seemingly endless capacity for Trivia. I am also often told by people "If I ever get on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire you are so going to be my lifeline."  Coworkers have phoned me at home to get the last answer for their crossword puzzle.  I am a little weak on science and math, but as long as its not final Jeopardy, I can steer clear.  And I will be sure to brush up on Potent Potables by reviewing Mod Mom Beyond Indiedom's  Cocktail Saturday posts.  
My second choice would be Cash Cab.  There isn't as much money on the line, but on the other hand there is the mobile and street shout outs when one gets stuck. 

Picking a reality show is more difficult.  I have no sewing or design skills at all, but I would go on Project Runway just to be mentored by Tim Gunn. My family agrees that my cooking skills, though limited, are better than the standard expected on Worst Chefs in America.  Dance Moms is one of my guilty pleasures, and Abby doesn't scare me half as much as the Girl's actual dance teacher does; but I would probably kill one of those moms and would definitely give Candy Apples Cathy a good shaking.We just started watching Are You Tougher Than a Boy Scout? and although I think I have most of the basic skills, the first episode they did rock climbing, which is definitely not one of my areas of expertise. 

Maybe I need my own reality show. Call it, oh I don't know, Meg on the Go.  It will be the thrilling adventures of a middle aged working mom who, along with her husband, frantically races about juggling 2 kids, ballet, baseball, and Boy and Girl Scouting, while trying to find some time for books and blogging.

Now that's a show that I would watch.


This Post is part of  Express Yourself Meme. To see what other bloggers are saying on this same topic please click on the link

Playing It By Earbuds

Music has always been very important to me, even though my own musical skills are rather limited.  When I was in college studying theatre I would often use music to get in the right mood for acting scenes, and when working on plays I would make a cassette (remember those?) of music suitable to the project I was working.  I also used to put together preshow and intermission music for shows that I was working on. In short, I enjoy making play lists.

After college I went on creating tapes for special occasions, like the one that played at our wedding, and as remembrances for people I had lost.  Often when I am parted from friends I would like to be with I will play songs I associate with them, and feel closer to them.

Recently I acquired an MP3 player that allowed me to created play lists.The one I used to have I just had to skip around looking for what I wanted.   I have created a favorites list, and a Celtic music play list so I am ready for next weekend, but the most important ones I have set up so far are my wake up and mellow out  play lists.

The Wake up is what I listen to on the bus going to work in the morning.  It helps me get my energy up for the day, and also puts me in a positive frame of mind.  Its also good for brisk walking.

Wake up Play list:
Revolution--The Beatles (the guitar riff alone can make you jump 10 feet)
Roll Over Beethoven/Rock and Roll/Johnny B Good--Chuck Berry
Mack the Knife--Bobby Darrin
Help/A Hard Days Night--The Beatles
If I had a Hammer--Peter, Paul and Mary
Perfect--Pink
Twist and Shout--The Beatles (actually most early Beatles music is energizing, but Twist and Shout may be the very best. By the time Mr Lennon gets done shredding his vocal cords, I'm ready for the days work.)

The Mellow out play list is what I listen to on the way home from work.  One of the benefits of commuting by bus it that I have a 20 minute break between the workday stress and the home front.  The Mellow out ritual is what allows me to arrive home a mostly normal and attentive mom.

Mellow Out Play list:
Imagine--John Lennon (I don't listen to the same things every night of course, but this is almost always where I start, No other song brings me such a sense of peace and well being.)
Wasted on the Way--Crosby, Stills and Nash (When I need to be reminded that its never too late to make things right)
Let it Be--The Beatles
Into the West--Annie Lennox
Old Friend (Bookends)--Simon and Garfunkel
Circles (Harry Chapin)
Bridge over Troubled Water--Simon and Garfunkel
In My Life-- The Beatles (This is actually my all rime favorite song)
For My Lady--The Moody Blues
Stand By Me--John Lennon (I know, Ben E King, but I like John's version)

And here's one more, Meg's Super Moody Wallow in Your Depression and
Regrets Play list. For when you need to get down so you can get back up.

Piece of my Heart--Janis Joplin (It doesn't get more simultaneously down and out and empowering at the same time than this)
500 Miles--Peter, Paul and Mary
Empty Chairs--Don McLean
Mother--John Lennon (Primal scream therapy, anyone?)
At Seventeen--Janis Ian (Return to those thrilling days of high school depression and abuse, and survival)
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables--Les Miserables
The Sound of Silence--Simon and Garfunkel
The Parting Glass--The Clancy Bros and Tommy Makem

I got a bunch more of these, but it should be enough to give you an idea.

So how about you? Do you make special purpose play lists?  Do you have certain songs for when you want to achieve certain moods? What songs pick you up when you are down?



I'm hanging out this weekend on yeah write's Moonshine Grid with a lot of other great bloggers.  You should join us.

Theme Thursday--Parenting Styles

So last week we talked about other peoples kids (and their parents).  This week we want to look a little more at ourselves, and what we think matters about parenting.

The funny thing is, I never thought of myself as having a particular style of parenting.  In some respects we have been very hands on, and in other respects we let them stand on their own as much as possible. We do some things our parents did when we think it works, there are other things we do differently because their way didn't work.  Its not by any means a child run house, but it is a child oriented house.

Of course my children aren't really children anymore, being 13 and 17.  Things that mattered when they were younger, doesn't show much now. Of course other things that didn't matter in the past do now.  For example neither child would have been crushed to lose phone privileges at 8.  Now it would be a whole different story. 

Frankly though we never had to do much grounding of the kids. Once or twice was usually sufficient.  Both of them got grounded from the computer once for bad interims when they were in grade school.  They got their privileges back when the good report cards came home six weeks later.  We never had to do a long term grounding like that again. 

What we have done is keep our kids involved in activities, and stayed interested and involved in what they were doing.  We have both been Scout Leaders.  We both log a lot of time at baseball practices and games, and at the dance studio.  This time of year, baseball season, there is at least one activity going on every single night, often more, so that we play my kid, your kid a lot.  To maintain some sanity, we made  a two extracurricular at a time rule.  Over the years both have also done a lot of school activities with after hour events (like choir and orchestra) so its still kept us busy.  Its not something that bothers me though.  To me it's part of why we are parents.

When we could we have traveled with our kids, and tried to find things of interest to them in the places that we went.  We started taking them to museums before they knew what museums were, and now that's the first thing they look for in a new place.

We have tried to be supportive parents.  We try to listen to them when they have something to say.  We commiserate with the down times even when we can't do anything about it. I always preferred to see the kits and games and art projects assembled in the living room, where we could all be a part, even if it made a mess; rather than off in a bedroom somewhere.

I doubt there is a right way to raise kids.  Everyone has to find what works for them.  Its hard telling how much is parenting and how much is the genetic luck of the child (or children) you have anyway.  I think you can do everything you think is right for your children, and you may still have problems with your kids.  But if you don't do the things you know are right for your kids, you will have problems.

In the end the only real parenting style is to love them, everything else comes from there.


This post is part of Theme Thursday, a group of bloggers writing weekly on the same topic.  To see what others have to say on this topic, or to link up yourself, please click on the button.

Express Yourself--Favorite Colors

This week's Express Yourself is all about color,specifically  favorite colors.
I have two favorite colors, blue and green.  Both serve their purposes.


Green is energizing.  It means spring and gardens and turtles and life. Green is the Earth. Kermit the Frog is green. And there's those little green candles you burn when you need to bring prosperity into your life. Besides there's not getting away from the green if you're Irish.

And really nothing sums up all that is green
better than a shamrock.





But as much as I love green, I love blue even more.  Blue to me is healing and peace. 

like this blue

And this

Here's an extra delicious shade of blue(berry).

 

 

My husband found this great shade of blue and made

me a wool hat.  He's working on the gloves now.

I like this blue also.

But without a doubt my favorite shade of blue is Cobalt Blue

 

 

I like Cobalt Blue ceramics and Depression Glass. I like clothes in this color. Sapphires are my favorite gemstone.  You can surround yourself by the blue, and feel safe and well.  Absolutely my favorite go to color.

 

 

Because it may not be easy being green, but a good moody blue will go along way. 

 



This Post is part of  Express Yourself Meme. To see what other bloggers are saying on this same topic please click on the link.

Twenty-Two

Another March 4th

Has come and gone

And left you behind:

Forever twenty-two.

More years gone by now

Than you had in this life.

So many years

So many toasts

From the friends you left behind.

For you Twenty-Two

Was victory

As well as tragedy.

We know how well you used

The time you had.

Yet still it seems unfair

After all this time

That such a bright life

Should go out of this world

And leave the rest of us

Fumbling for a match.

I'll light a candle

Pour a drink

And think of you tonight.

Forever Twenty-Two.

In memory of
Craig Alan Erickson
08/17/67-03/04/90



Twitterpated

Lately I have been making much greater use of Twitter, resulting in an increase in emails recommending other accounts that I might be interested in following. Usually the recommendations are spot on, and I do in fact often follow their suggestions, but recently I received one that left me scratching my head.

The email in questions had three suggestions, based on my recent follows.

                   
OK this makes perfect sense.  It is totally (pardon the expression) logical, that having followed Patrick Stewart I might wish to follow other persons associated with Star Trek

Next:

Again perfectly logical suggestions to someone following Arianna Huffington.

Then this:

Really Twitter? Where is the sense here?  "Dear Twitter user, we noticed you recently followed the First Lady of the United States.  We thought you might like to follow an over hyped fashion and tabloid queen with anger management issues, and a tennis player and clothing designer".  I just don't get it.  I would anticipate suggestions of other women in politics, or maybe people involved in child nutrition issues since that is a cause dear to Mrs Obama.  Other than being African-American and in amazingly good shape, what do these two have in common with Michelle Obama?

So what's next Twitter?  "We see you follow Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow, we think you would love to follow Pat Robertson and Westboro Baptist Church."   or "We see you follow The New York Times and Slate Magazine, we think you'd like to follow Kim Kardashian."

Twitter you need to recalibrate your algorithms.









Theme Thursday: Other People's Kids (and their parents)

Sooner or later we all go through it. Our children venture out into the world and they, and we, have to deal with other children.  Moreover we have to deal with other parents.

Except for a close friend whose daughter was the same age as our eldest, and occasional get togethers with cousins, our children didn't interact with other children much when they were small.  The cost of preschool being prohibitive, and ill suited to shift workers anyway, they didn't attend school until kindergarten.  About the same age they started Scouting, and the Boy began baseball, and the Girl dance, who we suddenly found ourselves interacting with lots of parents and kids.

There are parent/child combos where both are wonderful. There are great parents with bad kids, and wonderful kids with frightening parents. Then there are the ones you want to change school systems to avoid.

I frankly don't have the horror stories that some people do about these interactions,  but there were nonetheless some very strange moments.  Over the years I have encountered several juvenile and parental types that really annoyed me.

Hovercraft mamas.  They always seem to be moms, don't they?  They think their child will starve on an overnight camping trip.  One time a mom I heard about brought Wendy's out to her kid at camp because he didn't like what dinner was.  They call 3 or 4 times while their child is at your house for a 3 hour visit. 

Expert parents.  My husband and I have always volunteered where we could at our kids activities.  But we have always been glad to let the coach, teacher, or scout leader be the one in charge.  I think its important that kids learn to respect authority figures, even when they don't agree with them.  We have always told them that they should do what their instructor tells them to do (as far as their activity is concerned). Its very jarring at sporting events to see parents call children over to the sidelines to give them corrections. Its even more jarring to hear the kid say "but coach said" only to hear the parent say "Never mind the coach, this is what you should do .I know what's best for you."

Spy kids. You know the type. Every quirky aspect of your house is being reported back once the visit is over.  Sometimes the kid is spying on her own, and sometimes she is going to be pumped by a parent.  When your kids are in elementary school this is especially scary because we all know there are 4 or 5 moms who run everything, and you want to stay off their radar. 

Kids gone wild.  Over the years I have had the misfortune of dealing with children who's parents don't believe in restraint. Or discipline. Or manners. Or (when smaller) playpens and baby gates.  Or saying "No". These privledged darlings  inform your child of the injustice being done them that they do not have all the major gaming platforms available at home.  They are astounding to discover that your child is not permitted to run loose at the mall at the age of 10.They talk back to their parents, not jokingly like kids will do, but insultingly and disrespectfully.   They are fascinated by parents who insist that once a child has made a commitment that involves the outlay of cash by the parents they are expected to meet that commitment.  In short they are spoiled brats and one has to work to limit the contagion as much as possible. If your child must spend time with such kids, you try to minimize the damage afterward: "You know that's just not how we do things in our family,"

I like most kids, really. I wouldn't have spent all these years working with Scouts if I didn't. But some times they drive you crazy especially in conjunction with parents. But eventually the kids mature. Hopefully the good sense you instilled in your child kicks in.

In general its best to learn to roll with the punches and deal with all these personalities, both the kids and their parents. Learning to deal with people with different standards and conduct is a part of life.  Its best to learn this early because one day your child will be in high school. And they will start dating.





What is it about Thursday's? I love my Theme Thursday blog hop where bloggers all write to a suggested topic.  But somehow Thursday seems to be the day that I have trouble finding inspiration, cohesion, or a conclusion. So here we are, Theme Thursday on Friday, yet again.  Still, click on the link and go check out all the wonderful posts on this topic by more punctual writers  And we will try to do better next week.