But You are Old Mom

Last fall my son and I visited Gettysburg, PA.  The Boy was doing a college visit, and we were also taking the opportunity to spend long hours walking around on the battlefield and visiting many tourist sites.  Somewhere during our second day the Boy observed to me, "You get around pretty good for an old person." Like many things teenagers say, it was compliment and insult at the same time (Complimentary insult? Insulting compliment?) But the kids have been making fun of my age for a long time so I took it in stride.

First of all, I know I am kind of old, as mothers go.  I had the Boy at 35 and the Girl at 39.  My mom, by comparison, had her last child at 32.  My grandmother had 7 kids by her early 30's.  But I belonged to the finish college and get a degree generation, and in my case it took me 10 years just to get that bachelors degree, and then to get married. Even then we decided to be a couple for awhile first before having kids.  It was a wise choice for us, and I don't regret it, but it does mean that the only people my age at the PTA meetings are usually grandparents.  In fact my son informed me the other days that one of his friends grandmother was 5 years younger than me.

Additionally, as it happens, I am a few years younger than my husband. He always has had fun reminding me of this fact.  The first year we were married he gave me a card that read: "Its a great joy to wish your best friend a happy birthday.  But its sheer ecstasy to remind her that she is older than you,"  He has been playing the "four years younger" card ever since.  I like to tell him it just means I won't outlive him as long as the average woman does her spouse.

The kids of course delight in teasing me about all this.  Very seldom do we watch a show on the history or science channels that they don't ask for a firsthand report on the 6 wives of Henry VIII or causes of dinosaur extinction.  Of course, much of what I have seen, from moonwalks to the Vietnam War, is ancient history to them.

It's true having kids later does have some drawbacks.  I will be eligible for early retirement before my daughter finishes high school.  Its hard to plan for those years when I am still figuring out how much the Girl's senior year will set us back, (On the other hand, think how great the pension only income would look on her financial aid paperwork).  I will be well into my 60's before I am a grandmother. (I better be well into my 60's before I become a grandmother...hear me kids?) 

The benefits however outweigh the drawbacks.  We had our fun first, and then had kids when we were ready.  I'm a more mature, patient and knowledgeable parent than I would have been in my 20's.  No matter how tight things get sometime, we are far more secure than we would have been back when their dad and I worked 4 jobs between us that didn't add up to what 911 operating pays (and no health insurance either).  We are better parents for the waiting, and they, I think, are better kids because we did.