Monday, April 22, 2013

Baby Momma Drama

Here at Meg on the Go, we are all about the little things, especially the totally annoying little things.  I have ranted in the past about everything from 911 abuse to misuse of the word "decimate."  Today I want to talk about how we address our current and former intimate partners, especially when there are children in common.

I was totally put off recently to learn that Kanye West announced Kim Kardashian's pregnancy by introducing her at a concert as his "Baby's Mama" Now frankly I don't care at all about Ms Kardashian or Mr West (except to observe to Ms Kim that if you don't want the "unfortunate circumstance" (as she said on the Today Show) of being pregnant by one guy while married to another, you should, I don't know, not have sex with one guy while married to another) but I am sick of hearing the terms "Baby's Mama" and "Baby's Daddy" thrown around all the time.Call it an occupational hazard of life on the 911 line, but I hear those expressions way too much.

Its not uncommon during a domestic dispute call to hear a conversation that goes something like this:

Calltaker:What is your emergency?
Citizen: I want this dude out of my house!
Calltaker: Who is this person? Do you know him?
Citizen: (gives name)
Calltaker: (attempting to determine if this is a domestic dispute, a higher  priority that just 2 people arguing)  But who is he to you?
Citizen: He's just my kid's dad or  ( as one caller put it) He ain't nothing to me, he's just my baby's daddy,

Guys do the same thing:  My baby's momma trashed the house while I was at work.

We hear this so often at work that one of my co-workers refers to himself as a  "Baby's Momma Drama Wrangler".

I find myself perturbed when I hear this. The intention of course is to demean the other party. But I think the speaker demeans themselves even more.  The complainant is suggesting that the other half served no purpose to them except for their contribution to conception, which seems more appropriate to the Middle Ages or hereditary monarchies. It suggests that they do not care that they either misused, or were misused by another, in this way.  Moreover, with this mindset what are the children being taught about relationships, or about  being parents themselves someday?

So guys, call her your girlfriend, call her your fiancee, caller her your significant other.  Go ahead and add "The mother of our child".  Or if things didn't work out, she's you ex wife, ex girlfriend.  Or hey, just used their names. Ladies, same goes for you.

But no more "Baby's momma" or Baby's Daddy",  Because the person you make look bad is yourself.


  1. THANK you! I hate that term as well. I caught my oldest son saying that about his ex and mother to his daughter. I even went so far as to tell him, "If you didn't like her that much when you were dating her, why did you have a kid with her? Now you'll never be rid of her."

    I can only imagine how it will impact the kids in the long term. That much disrespect is bound to rub off of them. It's a damn shame.

    1. Thank you Terrye, exactly the point I was trying to make. The disrespect is already rubbing off on the children. If no one models respectful behavior in front of them, they will be just as disrespectful to their partners some day.

  2. That's a good point, Terrye. Do the parents refer to one another in the child's presence that way? "Junior. You tell your Baby Daddy that we're not dropping you off this weekend!" It's a crazy world.

    1. I know someone who refers to her kid's dad, in front of said kid, as the sperm donor. As in "The sperm donor still hasn't caught up on the child support." Crazy indeed.

  3. Replies
    1. Glad you liked it Joseph, thank you for stopping by.

  4. Hey Meg, apt post as always. I wanted to nominate you for a blogger award and have....I know at times its like the chain mail of the bloggosphere so dont feel obligated but I just wanted you to know I appreciate your site. (the link should be hooked to this comment...)